How to Climax While Wearing a Strap On
/This might seem obvious to some, but to others it’s out of reach- or might not have even been considered. The perceived selflessness and physical limitations of strap on sex can put a block on tuning into your body and really making the most of those moments.
If you partake, you will likely be familiar with the aches and pains that come with being the wearer of a strap-on. Unless you’re in peak physical condition, you’ll know exactly how tiring it can be- feeling like you spent hours at the gym after a long session. On the plus side- it’s more fun than ACTUALLY going to the gym. And it’s free. You can keep going as long as it takes, because it’s not a real dick- but you miss out on the exertion being outweighed by pleasure. Because it’s not a real dick.
Now we can probably all agree that self-satisfaction is generally not the aim, let alone result, of wearing a strap-on during sex. Of course it’s a great feeling knowing that you’re (hopefully) making your partner feel good, but getting off can be difficult if you’re struggling to support your own body weight and concentrating on rhythm. Because you cannot physically experience the sensation the same way as someone with a penis would when performing this action, the physical effort required can easily distract the brain from making it a mutually beneficial experience.
But, as you might expect from the title of this article- you can absolutely achieve orgasm by fucking someone with a strap-on and I’m going to explain how to set off in the right direction. If you’re reading this and thinking “Duh, of course you can! I come basically every time!” then congratulations, but this article is not for you.
Let’s begin with the obvious- as I’m sure you can imagine, the main physical contribution to your orgasm will come from clitoral stimulation. How greatly you experience this sensation will largely depend on the base of your dildo and the way it is positioned against your body. For this, you want the surface of the base to be resting against your clit and this may require some pulling about of your harness in order to get it to sit just right, depending on the style you have and the location of its o-ring. You can buy dildos with shaped or textured bases, specifically designed to enhance the pleasure of the wearer. For example, the Vixen Mustang Royale which features a ‘saddle’ base and does help with this element- stay tuned for a full review of that beast. It's not as terrifying as it looks.
Once you’re set up for optimal contact, you should theoretically be able to experience a level of pressure that you can control based on the pace and depth of your movement. If you can find a position that is less physically demanding, you will be able to focus more on how this pressure is making you feel. While having her ride you to try and experience this might seem logical, given that there is very little exertion on your part, this might not work unless the base is perfectly placed and she magically knows the exact rhythm you need there and then. It's not impossible though and definitely worth doing anyway because... it's hot.
The second part to gaining direct sexual pleasure form fucking someone with a strap-on is completely mental. No really- it's a state of mind. Take yourself to a place where you are not fixated on your aching quads, but rather her body and it’s responses to everything you do. Unless you need both arms to hold yourself up, reach out and touch her and feel her move underneath your hands- look at the extension of yourself moving in and out of her and correlate it to the feeling in your clit.
A helpful position is having your partner lay on their front with one leg bent and straddling her straight leg. From this position, you can enter her while being sat up on your knees and having enough control to not need to support your weight in any other way. With one leg bent, she'll be leaning more on one side than flat on her front, so you'll be going in almost side on. Focus on the slide in and out, how wet she is- use the freedom of your hands to grab her ass, pull her hips. This is a powerful position and if it's something you both enjoy then it can be taken great advantage of.
When you're feeling it, in the moment your orgasm will come naturally and you'll find that you might not want to come if she hasn't because that's not what you're used to. But go for it- there’s nothing to stop you carrying on afterwards. This mind-clit connection will not come easy if you're not used to wearing a strap-on but bear with it- it's fun and exciting for both of you when it happens. If you're struggling to get in the zone mentally, just remember where you are, who you're with and all the things that normally make you feel good. You'll get there.
Please note that while female pronouns have been employed for this article, we appreciate and acknowledge it’s relevance to all genders.
offthetongue blog posts come from a place of love. If you want to join the party and share your stories, tips or reviews, get in touch via hi@offthetongue.com