Strap on 101: Harness Anatomy
/Hello and welcome to I Got This Thing And I Feel Weird About It.
If you’re the proud new owner of a harness, or if you’ve seen one from a safe distance and can’t stop thinking about it, here’s a quick run down of what you need to know about how you’re meant to keep a weighty silicone cock firmly stuck to the front of your body. What makes a harness do its job right and how should you expect it to feel.
Firstly, you’re looking at a snug fit. Or at least, you should be. Traditionally, harnesses are not known for being particularly flattering due to their requirement of being tight. Whether you chose an adjustable or pull-on style, there is always the chance that you’ll get some muffin top and if you’re any sort of self conscious, this won’t help you feel sexy.
But, the show must go on and there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. However, we have tried to create styles that at least partially eliminate this problem. Our Polly, Dita and Marina harnesses are all high waisted, which means rather than support coming from a thick elastic waistband, the weight of your toy is more evenly distributed through the fabric. This is generally more comfortable to wear and helps smooth the silhouette.
Another important element of your harness is its O-ring. That little ring of rubber that holds your toy in place. They come in a number of sizes and some harnesses include the possibility to remove and change the o-ring to allow more flexibility. The standard size, the one we use for all current models, is 4cm in diameter.
This means that toys with a flared base of 7cm diameter or more would be an ideal companion. The reason we don’t recommend toys with a base smaller than this is that depending on their material and weight, the shaft can still pull the base out through the o-ring if it’s not wide enough, rendering it completely useless.
The O-ring is commonly situated so that the base of your toy rests directly on top of your clit. This is partly to provide stimulation for the wearer and partly because were you to have a real cock, that is where it would hang.
But one of the (many) advantages to not having a real cock is that you can move the damn thing. You could strap it to your elbow if you wanted to (don’t, though.) We’ve moved the position of the O-ring so that it sits slightly higher up on the pelvis- the lower part of the toy base still providing simulation. The purpose being that this actually allows the wearer to have greater control when thrusting and it takes some of the physical demand out, allowing you to go for longer without wishing you hadn’t given up on those HIIT classes.
Whether you’re looking at an adjustable option or a panty style, all harnesses should do the same thing. But there is one thing you might want to consider... going crotchless. Not everyone will feel comfortable doing this and naturally it’s not ideal if you plan on wearing your harness out and about under your skirt but it’s worth remembering that unless you’re made of stone: You. Will. Get. Wet.
Not only will choosing a crotchless style eliminate that, er, squelch, during play, but it also allows for easy access- meaning you or your partner can touch you without having to take the harness off. It’s particularly useful if there is more than one other person present. For reasons I’ll leave up to your imagination.
So there you have it- a quick breakdown of some of the key factors to be aware of then choosing a harness. We’ve got a saying over here at offthetongue: Feel Good, Fuck Good. There are a variety of options out there, and thankfully you no longer have to sacrifice image for practicality. So be comfortable. Be confident.
offthetongue blog posts come from a place of love. If you want to join the party and share your stories, tips or reviews, get in touch via hi@offthetongue.com